heels with heart

"i don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot."

 - marilyn monroe

today, i wore kitten heels to work. they were brown and they matched the rest of my outfit to the "t." fab then - i'm wearing cute shoes. and it's friday. oh lauren, what's the story?

naturally, i learned quickly - walking in heels on the steel grates is not a pleasant experience. i was fortunate enough to learn this lesson after moving out here back in august. whenever possible, i avoid the grates. but of course, there are times when they are absolutely impossible to get around. so then, to combat the dangers of "grate walking," i've learned that walking on the sole of your foot, so that the heel doesn't touch the ground, is the most effective strategy. 

great, so i'm on to something. mmhmm, not today. 

as i'm implementing my "grate walking" strategy, forced to walk on the grates, i'm bumped by a mean woman with a silver dolly full of groceries.

mean woman with silver dolly full of groceries (MWWSDFOG): "excuse you, missy." 

shocked-out-of-her-mind-lauren (SOOHML): "pardon me." 

MWWSDFOG: "that's right, pardon you." 

SOOHML: "uhhh..."

oh my. how do i respond? my mind and heart were all a flutter! (un)fortunately, i'm not the type of person to holler out vulgarities. it's simply not my style. i'd like to say my skin has thickened quite a bit since migrating east, but i still struggle. i won't say phoenicians are nicer people, because i have certainly been exposed to my fair share of less-than-friendly desert rats. however, i've realized south-westerners are less quick to anger and seem to take things with a little pep in their step. 

after standing there for a minute or so, wiggling my rear on 59th street, attempting to cut loose from the death trap, MWWSDFOG turned around and smiled. 

oh dear, did MWWSDFOG just toss salt in my severely wounded kitten heel? indeed, she did. after finally breaking away, i looked up to see MWWSDFOG strolling away - groceries in tow. oh dear - what could i do to even the score? 

tackle her? no. i'm wearing heels. and a nice top.

scream: "heeeey! MWWSDFOG! you're lame!" no, there are children around.

throw my purse at her? no, my lunch was inside. 

aha! 

while quickly approaching MWWSDFOG, "life is a highway" by tom cochrane popped onto my ipod and i suddenly had the answer. perhaps MWWSDFOG just needed a little arizona cheer. and perhaps i'll share some of mine...

"gosh! grates and heels are the worst huh!? have a great day!!!"